Artists in Prison

Many of the men I have met or corresponded with in prison are very talented artists. Here are some recent cards I received.

A letter from a man in prison

Hey you, how you doing? I hope the world is treating you and your daughter well. Sorry I didn't write sooner but there has been a lot of drama going on down in my parts. I wanted to write sooner and tell you thank you for the paper. I received it but was unable to write back because I didn't have any of my writing stuff. Eighteen days ago there was a battle with all the cops (prison guards) so after it was all said and done they put us in empty cells with just boxers on and left us for four days. Their way of payback. No matts, or blankets. But for the last couple of days they have been giving us stuff back. Taking their time because their pride is hurt.

I got a letter from my sister last night. Couldn't believe it, I don't remember the last time she wrote. Should have known better, it was just a half page letter telling me my uncle passed away. So I'm bummed out. I'm kind of glad he is finally gone, he has had a slow painful last five years. Do wish I could have seen him before he went. So today I woke up and worked out for three hours. Until I puked. Yeah, that is gross, but working out is my way of dealing with my pain and anger. Not much to do in a small box. I've sworn to never shed another tear for anyone or anything. I'm tring to learn to control my feelings and thoughts, but in doing so I'm slowly but surely blocking everything else out of my life. Not my plan, but I'm focused on getting my self discipline back and that is all that matters to me right now. I think this place is really sinking its nails into me and I hate it. I try with all my strength to stay the person I am, but I can feel myself changing. I can feel my heart changing. These cops are constantly trying to make me feel like they are so much better. Like they are good. It drives me mad. They cause me to be such a hateful person and I've been allowing them to do it. So I guess that is why I'm so focused on controlling my feelings and thoughts.

Anyway, sorry for the blah, blah, blah. So how have you been? How's your baby? Is she getting big? What did you guys do for Easter? We got to dye eggs here! Ha ha ha! I want to apologize to you for the last months. I so want to be able to sit down and write to you about all kinds of stuff, but it's hard to because I'm stuck in a cell. I want to keep your interest in writing but this place makes that real hard.

I love getting your letters. I'm all smiles! It's nice to hear about your life and what you have been up to and about your daughter getting bigger and all that. But there can't be nothing nice about hearing what's going on with me in prison. I guess some days I sit back and wonder, these are some of the things I think about. You know, I always think about Oklahoma and Nebraska, too. It's so beautiful there. I can't wait until I can go back and visit my family again. I remember as a kid it was so cool how it would be rain and lightning at night and hot and clear during the day. It never made sense but I loved it. Another thing I miss, too, is the people. Such a different environment. Maybe I will go back and visit when I get out?

Well, I'm going to let you go for now. Hope everything is well with you. Give your baby a big kiss and a hug from "Uncle." I hope to hear back from you soon.

Signed, with love and respect.

Josh introduces himself

I was born on January 27, 1986, in Porterville, California. I’ve lived most of my life between San Luis Obispo County and Victorville, California. I’m now 23 years old and serving a 5 year 4 month sentence in Ironwood State Prison. I’m an ex-drug addict who has suffered from the severe addiction of meth for the last 5 years. I spend most of my time in prison reading about history and trying to further my education. I also like to draw, exercise, and daydream of things to do when I’m released. I’m currently scheduled for release in 2012. (Prison Blog note: Josh was originally introduced to street drugs when he was 12 years old by a 38-year-old woman.)

I’m put in here to protect you from me, even though I’m no predator, sentenced to 5 years, 4 months to repay my debt to society. But in all this, who is supposed to protect me from those given the duty to protect you? No one, it seems! It’s like I’m stuck in a prison within a prison. Sometimes treated like an animal instead of human. I accept full responsibility for all I do or have done, but where is the line drawn? There is nothing worse than having absolutely no control over your own life, even if my own actions put me here. I’m forced to accept the things that are wrongfully being done to make us suffer in here, or I can act out and make my stay here longer. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t could never be truer. It feels like I’m stuck in a prison within a prison with no way to get out.

So I sit and think about those who are dear to me, trying to stay focused on the ones I love. I think about all the good times I ever had (before the drugs) and it helps me keep my mind strong and my courage high. My time will come and go and all I hope is that my true self is still here when this is over with.

Starting Out with the Prison Blog

This blog will have entries from people writing from prison. They are friends and/or pen pals of mine, and send me what they write when they are able to. I started this blog because I want to give my friends in prison a chance to be heard. All letters and blog entries are posted with permission from the writer.