A letter from a man in prison

Hey you, how you doing? I hope the world is treating you and your daughter well. Sorry I didn't write sooner but there has been a lot of drama going on down in my parts. I wanted to write sooner and tell you thank you for the paper. I received it but was unable to write back because I didn't have any of my writing stuff. Eighteen days ago there was a battle with all the cops (prison guards) so after it was all said and done they put us in empty cells with just boxers on and left us for four days. Their way of payback. No matts, or blankets. But for the last couple of days they have been giving us stuff back. Taking their time because their pride is hurt.

I got a letter from my sister last night. Couldn't believe it, I don't remember the last time she wrote. Should have known better, it was just a half page letter telling me my uncle passed away. So I'm bummed out. I'm kind of glad he is finally gone, he has had a slow painful last five years. Do wish I could have seen him before he went. So today I woke up and worked out for three hours. Until I puked. Yeah, that is gross, but working out is my way of dealing with my pain and anger. Not much to do in a small box. I've sworn to never shed another tear for anyone or anything. I'm tring to learn to control my feelings and thoughts, but in doing so I'm slowly but surely blocking everything else out of my life. Not my plan, but I'm focused on getting my self discipline back and that is all that matters to me right now. I think this place is really sinking its nails into me and I hate it. I try with all my strength to stay the person I am, but I can feel myself changing. I can feel my heart changing. These cops are constantly trying to make me feel like they are so much better. Like they are good. It drives me mad. They cause me to be such a hateful person and I've been allowing them to do it. So I guess that is why I'm so focused on controlling my feelings and thoughts.

Anyway, sorry for the blah, blah, blah. So how have you been? How's your baby? Is she getting big? What did you guys do for Easter? We got to dye eggs here! Ha ha ha! I want to apologize to you for the last months. I so want to be able to sit down and write to you about all kinds of stuff, but it's hard to because I'm stuck in a cell. I want to keep your interest in writing but this place makes that real hard.

I love getting your letters. I'm all smiles! It's nice to hear about your life and what you have been up to and about your daughter getting bigger and all that. But there can't be nothing nice about hearing what's going on with me in prison. I guess some days I sit back and wonder, these are some of the things I think about. You know, I always think about Oklahoma and Nebraska, too. It's so beautiful there. I can't wait until I can go back and visit my family again. I remember as a kid it was so cool how it would be rain and lightning at night and hot and clear during the day. It never made sense but I loved it. Another thing I miss, too, is the people. Such a different environment. Maybe I will go back and visit when I get out?

Well, I'm going to let you go for now. Hope everything is well with you. Give your baby a big kiss and a hug from "Uncle." I hope to hear back from you soon.

Signed, with love and respect.