Josh introduces himself

I was born on January 27, 1986, in Porterville, California. I’ve lived most of my life between San Luis Obispo County and Victorville, California. I’m now 23 years old and serving a 5 year 4 month sentence in Ironwood State Prison. I’m an ex-drug addict who has suffered from the severe addiction of meth for the last 5 years. I spend most of my time in prison reading about history and trying to further my education. I also like to draw, exercise, and daydream of things to do when I’m released. I’m currently scheduled for release in 2012. (Prison Blog note: Josh was originally introduced to street drugs when he was 12 years old by a 38-year-old woman.)

I’m put in here to protect you from me, even though I’m no predator, sentenced to 5 years, 4 months to repay my debt to society. But in all this, who is supposed to protect me from those given the duty to protect you? No one, it seems! It’s like I’m stuck in a prison within a prison. Sometimes treated like an animal instead of human. I accept full responsibility for all I do or have done, but where is the line drawn? There is nothing worse than having absolutely no control over your own life, even if my own actions put me here. I’m forced to accept the things that are wrongfully being done to make us suffer in here, or I can act out and make my stay here longer. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t could never be truer. It feels like I’m stuck in a prison within a prison with no way to get out.

So I sit and think about those who are dear to me, trying to stay focused on the ones I love. I think about all the good times I ever had (before the drugs) and it helps me keep my mind strong and my courage high. My time will come and go and all I hope is that my true self is still here when this is over with.